Fear

FEAR
I’m not afraid of a lot of things – perhaps because my life has been one major jump-scare after another. Potentially fatal disease? Panic, then deal with it. Bankruptcy and potential starvation? Go eat some roadkill. Demons? Banish the little rotters. Riots and looting? I’m not too blind to operate a f*rearm. Pain? I can handle horses stepping on my bare feet and crushing the bones, childbirth, and tumors twisting my innards.
But one thing scares the crap out of me – heights.
            Oh, not the height itself. The view from the rooftop is gorgeous. And there’s a job to be done –painting the soffit, repairing the downspout, fixing the roof, cutting the tree limb. The bucket-lift is perfectly safe. Dave is holding the ladder. Everything will be fine.
        No, the fright is about falling, breaking something vital, and being paralyzed. Dependent on others. Not being able to feel crucial parts of my body. Dependence on others. I’m darn well handicapped enough, without the rest of me malfunctioning, too.
But I did it. I went up eleventy-thousand feet in the air, a whisper away from crackling live powerlines, where the wasps dwell in their nests, poison dripping from their foot-long stingers.
      Cuz SOMEbody had to do it. Dave can no longer climb a ladder. And I got ’er done. Fear? Meh!

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