25 Fart Jokes That Will Knock The Wind Out Of You
1) Why do you have to watch out for ninjas’ farts?
They’re silent — but deadly.
2) What’s invisible and smells like carrots?
A bunny fart!
3) What happens when you make a bean and onion casserole?
4) What do you call a ghost fart?
A spirit bomb.
5) I didn’t fart.
My butt likes you so much it blew a kiss.
6) Two flies are sitting on a piece of poop.
One fly farts and the other fly cries, “Hey! I’m trying to eat here!”
7) Why won’t the skeleton fart in public?
He doesn’t have the guts.
8) What is invisible and smells of worms?
A bird’s fart.
9) What’s the ideal weight of a fart?
Zero pounds. If it’s anything more, you’re in trouble.
10) Why did the man stop telling fart jokes?
He was told that his jokes stink.
11) Why did everyone notice when Bill Gates farted in the Apple store?
Because they didn’t have any Windows.
12) Farts are like children.
You don’t mind your own, but you can’t stand other people’s.
13) Do you know what’s scary?
Attempting your first fart after having diarrhea.
14) I got fired from my job delivering leaflets on flatulence awareness.
Unfortunately, I let one rip.
15) What do you get when an aristocrat farts?
A noble gas.
16) I just rang the Incontinence Hotline.
The woman said, “Can you hold, please?”
17) I farted at work yesterday and my co-worker opened the window.
It must have been bad — we’re flight attendants.
18) My partner said he wanted to heat things up in bed.
So I farted under the sheets.
19) I didn’t fart in front of my partner until we got married.
Her family wasn’t too impressed.
20) An old married couple is at a concert one Friday night, when the woman turns to her husband and says, “I’ve just let out a really long, silent fart. What should I do?”
The husband tells her, “Replace the battery in your hearing aid.”
21) A fart is like success.
It only bothers you when it’s not your own.
22) If you farted while traveling at the speed of sound, would you smell it before you heard it?
23) Why did the chicken cross the road?
She didn’t want the other chickens to notice that she farted.
24) Did you hear the one about the blind and heartbroken skunk?
She fell in love with a fart.
25) Farting on an elevator is probably the worst thing you can do.
It’s just wrong on so many levels.
Common Magick from Llewellyn Worldwide
Witches & Pagans # 38 & # 39 from BBI
Llewellyn's Witches' Companion 2022 & 2023 from Llewellyn Worldwide